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Station Road, St. Login Add My Business. About us. That is a reason many of the men are out to only a few close friends.
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The grapevine has taught them which priests in their diocese are gay, whom to trust and whom to fear. Before then, I was out to certain classmates. I realized this is not a me issue. This is a human rights issue.
But there is still way too much homophobia in the church. All priests must wrestle with their vows of celibacy, and the few priests who are publicly out make clear they are chaste. Still, many priests said they had had sex with other men to explore their sexual identity. Some have watched pornography to see what it is like for two men to have sex. They ultimately found more anguish than pleasure. One priest had sex for the first time at 62, no strings attached, with a man he met online. The relationship was discovered and reported to his bishop, and he has not had sex since. Another priest, when asked if he had ever considered himself as having a partner, wondered what that even meant.
He paused, before mentioning one very special friend. Though open, the closet means that many priests have held the most painful stories among themselves for decades: The seminarian who died by suicide, and the matches from a gay bar found afterward in his room. The priest friends who died of AIDS. The feeling of coming home to an empty rectory every night. So they find ways to encourage one another.
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Some have signed petitions against church-sponsored conversion therapy programs, or have met on private retreats, after figuring out how to conceal them on their church calendars. Some may call this rebellion. Just over a year ago, after meeting with a group of gay priests, Father Greiten decided it was time to end his silence.
At Sunday Mass, during Advent, he told his suburban parish he was gay, and celibate.
They leapt to their feet in applause. His story went viral. A year-old priest called him to say he had lived his entire life in the closet and longed for the future to be different. A woman wrote from Mississippi, asking him to move south to be her priest. To some church leaders, that outpouring of support may have been even more threatening than his sexuality. Father Greiten had committed the cardinal sin: He opened the door to debate. His archbishop, Jerome E. Listecki of Milwaukee, issued a statement saying that he wished Father Greiten had not gone public.
The idea that gay priests are responsible for child sexual abuse remains a persistent belief, especially in many conservative Catholic circles. For years, church leaders have been deeply confused about the relationship between gay men and sexual abuse. Study after study shows that homosexuality is not a predictor of child molestation. This is also true for priests, according to a famous study by John Jay College of Criminal Justice in the wake of revelations in about child sex abuse in the church. The John Jay research, which church leaders commissioned, found that same-sex experience did not make priests more likely to abuse minors, and that four out of five people who said they were victims were male.
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The notion that a certain sexual identity leads to abusive behavior has demoralized gay priests for decades. Days after one man retired, he still could not shake what his archbishop in the s told all the new priests headed to their first parish assignments. He meant a predator, like serial predator.
This perception persists today at prominent Catholic seminaries. At the largest in the United States, Mundelein Seminary in Illinois, few ever talk about sexual identity, said one gay student, who is afraid to ever come out. Since last summer, when Mr. McCarrick was exposed for abusing young men, students have been drilled in rules about celibacy and the evils of masturbation and pornography.
Priests across the country are wondering if their sacrifice is worth the personal cost. Am I going to hide? Become hardened, and old? Blaming gay men for sexual abuse is almost sure to be a major topic this week at the Vatican, at a much-anticipated four-day summit on sexual abuse. It is an amazing life. I am fascinated with the depth and sincerity of parishioners, the immense generosity. I tune into that, because it sustains me.
That is far from my mind now. The event has worried gay priests. A few years after the scandal, the Vatican banned gay men from seminaries and ordination. A group of gay priests in the Netherlands recently took the unusually bold step of writing to Pope Francis, urging him to allow gay, celibate men to be ordained. He wished he could talk to Pope Francis himself.
We have to stand up and say no more sexual abuse, no more sexual traumatizing, no more sexual wounding. We have to get it right when it comes to sexuality. For now, Father Greiten was getting ready for his 15th trip to Honduras with doctors and medical supplies. A shadow box hung on the wall behind him. It displayed a scrap of purple knitting, needle still stuck in the top. It Is a Cage. Supported by. Home Page World U.