It took up a lot of my time and energy. Any time I posted a picture, I had to be in a space where I had no meetings and no obligations because for the next two hours, I felt I needed to be sat by my phone to police these comments. It took me a long time to accept who I am and I hope it is a little easier for the next generation. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this process and the journey to come, I appreciate you.
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Thank you to espn espnuk for the platform to speak openly. On Tuesday, Beattie posted a smiling selfie from a favourite photoshoot - shirt on, confident pose. They've just slowly blended together, and the people that matter to me are in both. Fellow out athletes Anton Hysen and Ian Thorpe posted amid a flood of support; significantly, the Singapore Premier League's official account replied with a heart emoji.
The "fell swoop" is finished, but for Beattie, the purpose has only just begun. Within hours of his story being published, messages began to arrive from across the world. Others say they've been sent to conversion therapy. It's volatile and fragile when you're at a certain stage of life. As for football and creating a culture where gay and bi players don't feel they have to hide that part of who they are, he knows the conversation is complex.
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We know these two things are in no way linked, the same as femininity and sexuality - I know some of the most feminine straight guys in the world! But that's the perspective from the outside and people still don't really know how to approach that. Beattie is sure homophobic language was occasionally used in and around dressing rooms when he was playing, but he doesn't recall specifics - "I felt that it didn't apply to me, so it just went over my head" - and it's his former team-mates who have sent some of the most supportive messages.
Looking back, I probably could have had a conversation with them about it but I just wasn't ready at the time. He gives short shrift to the oft-mooted suggestion that it might be easier for gay or bi male footballers to come out together, as a group. It's your own personal journey - it needs to feel right, on your own terms and in your own time.
Greater sensitivity from the media would be impactful too, he feels. Empowering people, as opposed to instilling fear, would definitely be beneficial. There are over 5, professional male players in British football, and many more at semi-pro and amateur level. What would be his message to those in the closet? But I wouldn't tell anybody to just come out - it would be naive of me to do that. You need to understand where you are in your career, what country you're playing in, the laws there Family members can be quite hard to speak to, from experience, and even close friends - I think our closest friends can be the hardest ones to tell, because they know you in a certain light for so many years, and there's that mental picture of you changing.
That can be quite daunting. It's healthy to have somebody you can lean on and talk to. Overwhelming 24 hours, massive amount of gratitude for the all the support.
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Had no idea my story would resonate with so many people thankful. The modern-day visibility of Pride sometimes gives the illusion that sexuality is simple nowadays - 'love is love,' 'be yourself', and similar slogans.
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Amid that positivity, Beattie's account provides a rare glimpse behind the mental wall built up by professional footballers - essential for character, fortitude, and resilience - but which keeps their more vulnerable emotions concealed from view. Some outside of that headspace might say 'who cares? Yet for such a player, caring too much about what other people think could hold him back from achieving all he is capable of.
And in terms of my performance, it would have helped.
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