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He signed up for the Canadian Soccer League, spending a season in London - just across the border between Detroit and Toronto - before then moving on again to Ottawa Fury, where he was made captain. As a young man in his 20s, Beattie became adept at projecting an image of confidence and assurance. Away from football, he was his own worst company.

I didn't want to dive deeper and self-analyse that, because that process was pretty daunting to even consider," he explains. The game became the perfect distraction. You're completely engulfed in what's going on. It consumes you. The more I played, the more it allowed me to escape. It was a balancing act, trying to figure it all out.

Is this helping me, or is it not? But football was all I knew, all I've ever loved. I'm still grateful for it now, but it left me in a position at times of feeling quite lonely. Soon after his 26th birthday, Beattie was on the move again, switching to the Singapore S-League. At Hougang United, he impressed his English coach Alex Weaver enough that when the latter was hired by the country's most successful club, Warriors F.

As coach and captain, they won the league together in , which also resulted in qualification for the Asian Champions League. However, deep into the following S-League season, the midfielder suffered a life-threatening injury when a clash of heads left him with a brain haemorrhage and extensive facial fractures. The injury forced him to retire from playing, aged just He refers to it now as his "beautiful nightmare" - a painful point in time that jolted him out of his denial, and tore away the cover of football.

He finally had no choice but to look at himself. I was in this space of knowing who I am but I was never really going to allow myself to accept it. It made me think that life is short, and tomorrow is not promised.


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For me to wait or live life on someone else's terms was not going to be an option. It forced me into a space which now I'm very grateful for. Massive thank you to everyone who has been a part of the journey over the past 2 years at The Warriors and 4 years here in Asia. Met some amazing people along the way and had some life changing experiences, winning the league and qualifying for the AFC Champions league with a group of people who have become like family.

I am indebted to many people for this experience and I wish my team mates current and past nothing but the best for the future years! Termia Kasih saudara. Upon recovery, Beattie stayed in Singapore and threw himself into the business world, becoming a digital entrepreneur. His off-field profile was on the rise, along with his self-acceptance. Then in , he was named one of the country's most eligible bachelors in an annual competition run by a popular women's magazine. Having successfully hidden himself away within football for many years, he suddenly found himself publicly pretending to be someone he's not.

I thought, I can't be living in this space.


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And I didn't need to be either. I had no one else to answer to, so the only obstacle that was ahead of me was myself. Perhaps in the past, Beattie might have run away to a new country, and started over again. He cleared the first obstacle by coming out to "a few friends and family", and was met with positive reactions - but having a big network of friends and contacts through both football and business brings complications.


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I thought, I'd rather do this in one fell swoop, and find some purpose in it. Friends in the entertainment industry gave Beattie advice and support, and inspiration was also provided in part by another Yorkshireman, rugby league's Keegan Hirst, who came out publicly in a newspaper interview in He's someone whose story really resonated with me and offered some motivation for me to do the same. Hirst has recently launched his own personal online coaching service and, like Beattie, keeps himself in great shape.

Posting the occasional shirtless selfie has helped both men to build big Instagram audiences, but Beattie - who now has over , followers on the platform - isn't exactly sold on social media.

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When he was navigating his way towards coming out, it became yet another obstacle, as his posts became increasingly popular with both male and female admirers. You almost become your own worst enemy - you attract attention but then it's attention you don't want to talk about.

The culture around that can be quite overwhelming. It took up a lot of my time and energy. Any time I posted a picture, I had to be in a space where I had no meetings and no obligations because for the next two hours, I felt I needed to be sat by my phone to police these comments. It took me a long time to accept who I am and I hope it is a little easier for the next generation.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this process and the journey to come, I appreciate you. Thank you to espn espnuk for the platform to speak openly. On Tuesday, Beattie posted a smiling selfie from a favourite photoshoot - shirt on, confident pose. They've just slowly blended together, and the people that matter to me are in both. Fellow out athletes Anton Hysen and Ian Thorpe posted amid a flood of support; significantly, the Singapore Premier League's official account replied with a heart emoji.